sitting her at my grandparent’s home and I’m incredibly bored. First time in a while that I’ve had nothing to do on a sunday afternoon.
last night we sat next to each other on the couch and it’s crazy to think that almost a year later you stil give me butterflies. You still find ways to make me feel nervous. I love that. I’ve never had that with anyone and I wouldn’t say that we’re unhealthy together at times pretty damn dysfunctional and you irritate me and I bitch at you all the time. But I have never felt the urge to want to try and make things work so badly with anyone else. You’re it for me. I’ve made up my mind and I’m determined to see it through. I love you Joel Etienne.
And no one can ever take that away from you.
I feel sorry for whover has to compare to you.. no matter how much bullshit we’ve been through you have and will always be the first.. my first. And today just validated all of those emotions that I feel toward you. The connection that I have for you— the emotion; i have never felt this strongly for anyone. You’re so incredibly passionate and you bring out the best in me. We bring out the best in each other. Spending the afternoon with you showed me how much I miss what we had.. You felt my heart racing and it was..I was so nervous and excited to see you again. You entice so many different emotions within me.And yeah sure the idea of getting to know someone new may be intriguing but no one could ever compare to my joelie. I missed being around you. I called you at six this morning because I was hunched over in bed due to cramps and just hearing your voice was calming. I woke you up out of your sleep and you did nothing but talk to me and make sure I was okay, I kept falling asleep and you stayed on the phone with me nearly for two hours before telling me to get some sleep before work. You’re something special joel..